Stay
by Escritor
Summary: Lit. Incomplete. I put my faith in you, so much faith, and then you just threw it away.
1. One

**A/N:** This is the third time I've attempted to write a full-length Gilmore Girls story. For some reason, I'm just so _self conscious_ about it. Hopefully this will be as good as I've been hoping it is. Please read with an open mind. Lyrics in the summary are by Paramore ('For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic.') This story is AU. Post season 3 with spoilers, especially for 3.21, "Here Comes the Son," and 3.22, "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio." Takes place after Rory discovers Jess in 4.21, "A Family Matter."

The title is based on some of the aforementioned song, and also on a random trailer I made and posted on Youtube. If you want to check it out, my username there is LizzehMarie

Oh, and I don't own anything. Obviously.

**Summary: **I put my faith in you, so much faith, and then you just threw it away. Post season 3, AU in some of season 4.

**Stay**

_Why is he back? _

_Why would he bother coming back all this way for a stupid car? _

_Why is he so idiotic? _

_Why is he still so gorgeous?_

And it's true. Jess is as beautiful as he ever was, if not more so. He looks more mature; his hair is longer, there's some hair on his face, and his 'devil-may-care' attitude seems to have been multiplied by a thousand. Rory wants to run away right now, get out of this house, this town, this _state_. She always liked the quaintness of Stars Hollow and small-town life, but now it seems oppressive and suffocating and far too small for so many people.

She curses the day she ever met Jess. She curses his mother for sending him in the first place. She curses _her_ mother for inviting him that one day for dinner. (Didn't she know what would happen? How stupid was she, anyway?) She curses Luke for shoving them together so often. And most importantly, she curses herself for ever falling in love with him, ever giving a damn that he existed.

She curses him for being so beautiful and tempting and seductive and…

"You okay, Rory?"

Rory nods, then reconsiders the nod and shrugs instead. Her mother knows her well enough to not take that as an answer.

"It's okay if you're, you know… I don't know, weirded out by everything," Lorelai says slowly.

Rory shrugs again. "Why would I feel weird? I'm fine. He left me and I moved on. I don't have feelings for him anymore. I mean, it'd be pretty stupid if I did, right?"

"Right, yeah, sure," Lorelai says unsurely. "…So, why would that be stupid, exactly?"

"Well. Because," Rory answers. "I'm not one to pine. I don't_ pine_. He didn't want me. That's fine, not everyone has to want me."

Lorelai smiles sadly and reaches out to touch Rory's shoulder. For some reason, Rory moves away from the touch and yawns unconvincingly. "I think I'm going to bed," she says, and before her mother has any time to reply, she's gone to her room with the door shut behind her.

Once in her room, she's unsure of what to do. Part of her wants to fall to the floor and cry, and another part of her wants to take a blowtorch and set fire to Jess' car with Jess still sleeping inside of it.

She wonders briefly why he's here and then tells herself that she doesn't care. He'll be gone soon, he'll be gone soon, he'll be gone soon, and then she could focus on other things.

Rory feels jumpy and collapses on her bed, laying there for a few seconds before sitting up again. She looks at her bookcase, because thinking of Jess reminds her of reading. She's in need of a good distraction. Maybe a mystery, or a horror novel, or even a drama would suffice right now. But the last thing she wants to read is a romance with happy endings. She'd like a good murder and an unhappy ending with tears and sorrow.

She closes her eyes, points her index finger towards her bookcase, and then waves it around. It's a game she used to play when she was little and had read everything and just wanted to look over a book she'd already seen. Whatever her finger lands on, she _has_ to read – it's the rule. She stops after a few minutes and opens her eyes, then steps closer to observe the book she has chosen.

_No, God, what the hell is wrong with me?_ She thinks to herself as she throws the book on the floor.

Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea is not what she wants to read right now.

She feels stupid and idiotic as she kicks the book, imagining it as Jess' head. She sits on her floor and begins to write one of her many essays due, and falls asleep before getting to the second paragraph.

When Rory wakes up, she's annoyed and aggravated and has a killer pain in her neck and back. When she goes into the kitchen, Lorelai frowns at her appearance: the apparent rings under her eyes, her knotted hair, and her constant neck-rubbing only make her more concerned for her daughter's wellbeing.

"Don't," Rory says, seeing her mother open her mouth. "I'm fine. I stayed up late doing an essay and fell asleep on the floor."

"I wasn't going to say otherwise," Lorelai replies cautiously, putting two plates on the kitchen table.

Rory raises an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you breakfast," she replies simply, putting pancakes on the plates.

"…Who are you and what have you done with my mother?" She stares at the foreign food for a few minutes, as if waiting for an explanation.

Lorelai grins. "They're from Luke's."

"Oh, thank God," she breathes, cutting the pancakes and gulfing them down.

"Come on!" Lorelai says, "My cooking isn't _that_ bad."

A pointed look in her direction gives Lorelai her answer.

"Okay. So maybe it is." She smiles for a minute and then sits next to her daughter. "What's on the agenda for today?"

Rory shrugs. "I need to go to the bookstore and get a couple of things, and then I was thinking about just, you know, hanging around the square." She says this so simply, so easily, as if she isn't at all worried about bumping into Jess.

"Right," Lorelai says slowly. "And you think that's a good idea?"

"Yes," she says simply. "Thanks for the breakfast; I'm going to change and then leave."

Lorelai nods as her daughter shuts the door behind her, and after a few moments, she decides to follow her inside.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lorelai asks carefully. "It's okay if you want to just pull a hermit thing today. I'll fully understand. I'll even get you some pizza and I'll get the books for you so you don't have to leave."

Rory sighs. "I told you I was fine, mom."

"Yes, yes you did."

"So believe me, okay?"

"But –"

"Mom! Just believe me! I'm not worried, I'm not uncomfortable. This is my town. He'll be gone in no time. In fact, I'm sure he's already gone by now. He was just passing through."

"But…" Rory glares at her, so Lorelai finishes her thought in an alternate way. "…is not an appropriate answer right now, because I know you know what you're doing."

"Thank you."

Lorelai takes a deep breath. "And I also know you'll tell me if you're uncomfortable, or feel like relaxing in the comfort of your own home. And I will _totally_ understand."

"Right," Rory answers while grabbing her backpack. "Thankfully, you won't need to worry about that. Bye, mom, I'll see you later!"

Rory leaves the house with such a lack of confidence that it frightens her. As she walks through the streets, she feels like everyone is watching her… and truth be told, they probably are. Everyone knows Jess is back, and everyone knows that Rory still loved Jess when he left. It's like everyone is waiting with bated breath for the explosion to occur when they finally talk to each other after all this time.

_But there won't be any explosion_, she tells herself, _because if I see Jess, I'm running, just like he ran from me_.

She enters the bookstore without a second thought, chattering lightly with the owner before looking through the shelves for a particular book. By the time she gets to the shelves, she's forgotten what book she was looking for, and wanders around trying to think of the title. As she observes one particular bookshelf, she hears a noise behind her, and quickly turns around to see Jess huddled up in the corner, holding a copy of the exact book she was looking for.

_Jerk!_ She thinks to herself.

"Rory," he starts, getting up to explain himself, or maybe to give her the book, or maybe to leave. Whatever he's about to do, Rory decides she doesn't care. She's through caring, and she's _been_ through caring since he left her without saying goodbye _again_.

"I'm leaving," she says simply, turning on her heels and walking towards the door.

"Rory, wait…"

She leaves. Just like he would have, if she had given him the chance.

Back at home, her mother is sitting on the couch, reading an old issue of _Jane_ magazine when Rory comes back. Lorelai is surprised that she's home so early, and before she gets to ask her anything, Rory cuts her off.

"Can you pick me up something from the bookstore?" she asks quietly. "And… and a few things from the market?"

Lorelai doesn't have to be asked twice, and she leaves with a list of things to buy. Rory is thankful for her mother, and takes back what she thought about her earlier.

She's still mad at everyone else, though, including herself. Because the first thing she thought when she saw Jess in the bookstore was 'God, I wish he'd kiss me.' And for a second, she wondered if he thought the same thing about her.

She turns on the TV and tries to find a good episode of _Cold Case_ or one of those Saw movies – she really wants death and destruction – but all she can find is _Shakespeare in Love_.

**A/N:** Okay, that's it, the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! – Liz


	2. Two

**A/N: **Thanks for all the encouraging comments. I also have to correct myself; the episode is **4.12** for "A Family Matter," not **4.21** (Thank you Michaela Martin!)

Oh, and uh. Sorry for all the paragraphs. I feel I have a strange connection to Jess so I tend to get a little … verbose when describing his emotions.

**Two**

Jess feels like an idiot, and a prick, and a jerk as he sits in the bookstore, slightly shell-shocked at what has just taken place. _Rory_ has left _him_, instead of the other way around. It makes him angry and it serves him right, too, because he knows he deserves it. Rory hasn't seen him since his bus ride to California, and hasn't heard from him since the many times he called and hung up before she got a chance to say anything.

She deserved better than that. She deserved better than _him_. He just wishes she'd give him a chance to explain why he did what he did, or how much he truly loves her and how many times he curses himself at night for leaving her, or how all the girls in California and New York combined couldn't hold a candle to her, and how he's sure that will always be the case.

At the same time, he knows she doesn't have to listen to him. Hell, if he were Rory, he wouldn't listen either. His track record isn't exactly spotless. There's absolutely no reason for her to bother believing anything he says.

And yet there's a glimmer of hope, a small spark in his heart that stays lit. Maybe she could listen to what he has to say. Maybe she could love him again. Maybe she never stopped to begin with. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

He wishes he never came to Stars Hollow in the first place. Damn Liz, always screwing things up. She should have expected this would happen. If she hadn't tried to be his best friend and act like she could help him out and talk to him and have sleepovers and act like she wasn't a horrible mother he wouldn't be here in Stars Hollow, again, and he wouldn't have to see Rory, again. Seeing Rory is torture, especially because he knows he can't be with her and that she probably goes home to throw darts at his picture.

Even though he only has seen her for five seconds, he still feels the same Rory Gilmore hangover: shaking hands, shallow breath, and racing pulses. Just a look into her eyes and he's gone, back to feeling like a seventeen year-old with a head over heels, mind-blowing crush on the girl next door who seems to hold all the secrets of the world in the palm of her hand and could make your dreams come true with a snap of her fingers.

He was no stranger to girls: when he was fourteen he'd had his first 'girlfriend,' some random chick whose name he can't place now. He wasn't in love with her; in fact, he hadn't even known what 'love' really was. All he knew was that she was sexy, and curvaceous, and a hell of a kisser. And until he came to Stars Hollow, all he knew was that: sexy girls who knew what to do with their tongues. He didn't care about deep conversations or, hell, even _dates_. He had flings and he was fine with that.

It wasn't until Rory Gilmore that he knew what beauty and intelligence and class was, and how a cute blush on a girl who you've just told a naughty joke to is even more endearing and 'sexy' than a girl who can say a dirty joke back. Until he came to Stars Hollow, he didn't even know he was capable to love anyone as strongly as he loved Rory.

And he did love Rory, more than anything in the world. He never said it, mainly because it was impossible for the boy who never heard it to say it and sound like he meant it. He said he loved you through his kisses and his stares and his soft embraces and his lightest of touches, and Rory knew exactly what he meant. They had a shared language of silence together.

But Jess, as always, screwed up. Screwing up is in his genetic make-up. His mom was a screw-up, his father was a screw-up, and their parents were screw-ups. No matter what Jess has ever done, he's managed to mess it up somehow and usually to the point of no repair. And like his oh-so-lovely and caring father, he has a tendency to run. Something bad will happen and instead of fixing it or saying he's sorry, or admitting his mistakes, he leaves it for other people to tend to. Because that's just what Jess does.

He'd hate himself if he was Rory. Hell, he hates himself already.

Suddenly he hears a voice from the front of the once-quiet bookstore.

"Um, my daughter was in here a little while ago… Do you happen to have this book?"

_Shit, shit, shit_. Lorelai Gilmore is _not_ the person he wants to see right now. He's had enough run-ins with her when he was on Rory's good side to know that Lorelai hated him from the beginning and would hate him until she died (or he did. And even then, she'd probably curse his soul to eternal damnation, or get Mrs. Kim to do it at least.) He quickly tries to think of a plan – hide? Run away? Oh, yeah, _that's_ perfect. Do exactly what got you into the mess in the first place.

"Oh, yeah, Lorelai, it's the third shelf to the left. The hardcover with a red spine… If you need any help, just shout, okay?"

"Okay, thanks!"

_Shit, shit, shit, shit,__** shit**_She's coming towards his hiding spot. Maybe if he hides a book in front of his face… He reaches over to the first book he touches and pulls it open, making it look like he's reading.

Confused and unable to find the book, she turns around, glancing past Jess and looking through the bookcase next to him. Suddenly she sees the book Jess is holding, and grins.

"Excuse me… My daughter's been looking for that book. Where did you find it?"

_Don't say anything, don't say anything, pretend you're a mute, just don't fucking say anything._

"…Um. Excuse me, Helen Keller? I'm talking to you here. Are you going to talk back, or…?"

_Danger, Will Robinson, danger!_

"TakethebookI'mleaving," he says in one breath, shoving the book in her face and running out the door.

Because Jess is so good at that whole running thing.

It takes Lorelai a few minutes to realize that she's just had a book thrown at her. She's still recovering from this when she finally notices – oh, _no way_ – _Jess_ was the one who shoved it in the first place. _I am going to kill that little punk!_ She thinks hotly, throwing the book at the cashier and saying "Hold this for me, Joe."

She runs out of the store, looking around for a minute before finally spotting Jess' familiar James-Dean-wannabe stride. She quickens her pace and catches up to him, tapping him on the shoulder roughly.

He spins around, ready to curse out the person who's interrupted his getaway, until he realizes Lorelai has followed him. "Oh. Hello there," he says in what he hopes is a very unafraid tone. Because he's very, _very_ afraid.

"Don't 'oh hello there' me you little… little messy-haired miscreant!" she yells, stuttering slightly as she attempts to come up with a good insult.

"Messy-haired miscreant?"

She ignores this comment. "Who the hell do you think you are, sauntering back into town like you own the place? You're _not wanted_ here, Jess. Go back to where you came from!"

He attempts to keep his breathing even. "I'm just here to take what's mine," he says. He briefly wonders whether he means the car or Rory.

"She doesn't love you anymore, Jess. She doesn't even _think_ about you. She has moved _so_ far on."

Jess decides to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She crosses her arms. "Oh, don't act like she's not the reason you came here!"

"I came here for my car."

"That's bull. Your car was a piece of crap, and I find it hard to believe you'd come all the way here just to take it back."

Jess laughs dryly. "I could care less what you find difficult to believe."

"Stay away from my daughter," she says warningly, walking back to the store.

He watches her leave and wishes things were different.

Rory has reorganized her room four times, made six to-do lists planning out her entire senior year of college, come up with thirty-seven books she hasn't read but really wants to, downloaded six songs that Lane mentioned a while ago, and has thought about Jess while doing all of it. She finds it annoying that he can pop up out of the blue and occupy her thoughts. She feels silly and stupid and wishes he'd just go and stay gone.

And at the same time she wants to rush to him and demand an explanation.

It's not like she hasn't thought about what he might say before, anyway. After he left, back when she was still hurt by it and attempting to move on and lick her wounds, she'd daydream about him returning with beautiful things to say.

'_I left because I was stupid and irresponsible and I didn't want to disappoint you.'_

'_I wasn't ready for you then, but I am now.'_

'_I thought about you constantly.'_

'_I love you.'_

She laughs bitterly at that last one. Realistically, expecting him to say 'I love you' after such a long time would be like waiting for rain in a drought. He didn't say he loved her when they were together, or when they'd kiss, or even when they'd hang up the phone after a long conversation. It was always her "I love you, Jess," and his "Bye" or "Yeah" or "Me too." All cop-outs that disappointed her constantly.

She wants to hate him for everything. She almost does. And yet there's a part of her that can't.


	3. Three

You look so good it hurts sometimes. – John Mayer

**Three **

_She doesn't know what's running through her mind when she sees him at Sookie's wedding, standing there all unsure of himself, shrugging his shoulders to punctuate every response. She doesn't know why her heart is racing or why her palms are sweaty or why he suddenly looks _different_. There's just something about him; suddenly he looks older, or at least she's more aware of how old he looks. He looks mature. He looks like he'd be a sturdy shoulder to lean on and soft arms to slip into. He looks worthy of doing something important, and suddenly she has forgotten all about Dean and Washington and her mother and her father and the wedding altogether. _

_She doesn't care about any of that anymore. All she cares about is running into his arms and finally, finally, finally knowing what it feels to have his lips on hers and his rough hands on her smooth face. But then suddenly his tongue has slithered its way into her mouth and as their kiss deepens, suddenly everything hits her like a train. Dean, Dean, he's still your boyfriend, your sweet, caring boyfriend. And God, this is Sookie's wedding – Jess isn't even invited! And oh, hell, Jess is back in your life… For how long this time? When will he be shipped off to New York again? And oh, his lips feel like heaven on yours and why haven't you done this before?_

"_Oh, God," she whispers out loud, spinning around slightly._

"_Rory…"_

_Oh God, oh God, oh God. "Don't say a word!" she whispers desperately._

_He nods. "Okay."_

_She hears the music starting, and notices people starting to get to their seats. "I have to go…" she mutters, beginning to run off._

_Wait, wait, don't leave him, God, he looks so beautiful… And he's back. He's __**back**__. "Oh! And welcome back!" she shouts over her shoulder, running back to her mother and the rest of the wedding party._

_And for the rest of the night she can't think of anything but Jess and the way his lips felt on hers and how she hopes one day they could be together with no distractions and see how far they could get without stopping._

"Rory?"

Rory practically jumps out of her skin from her spot on her bedroom floor, and she quickly shoves her lists under her bed, suddenly embarrassed by them. "In here!" she calls out, twiddling her thumbs as her mother comes in her room.

She lightly drops the bags on Rory's floor and smiles. "I've got your books, food and candy, office supplies, and the special edition of The Godfather, because seeing it a thousand times in our lifetime just isn't enough."

Rory smiles half-heartedly, suddenly feeling like a loser. There's an awkward silence, and Lorelai takes a deep breath. "So... How about we get to the movie? Drown ourselves in some candy?"

She nods and follows her mother into the living room, telling herself to enjoy the movie and forget about Jess.

Twenty minutes into the movie, Lorelai pauses it and turns to her daughter.

"Okay, come on," she says, tapping her fingers on Rory's leg, "Rant. Or talk. Or… cry. I don't know, do _something_."

Rory shrugs. "I don't need to do any of that. Really, I'm good."

Silence. A beat skips, and then, "You know, you never really wallowed."

"What?"

Lorelai clears her throat. "You never wallowed about Jess after he left. I know you always hated wallowing but you were able to do it after Dean and… well… you just never really accepted it, did you?"

"I accepted it. I just didn't have to wallow to get there."

"Why's that?"

Rory twists her fingers. "The whole relationship was filled with wallowing, wasn't it?"

Lorelai doesn't know what to say and sits there gaping like a fish out of water. While she's proud of her daughter for discovering something she's known all along, there's also pain that comes with this realization.

"I think I'm going to go to Lane's. Do you mind if we finish the video later?" Rory asks, grabbing her coat without waiting for an answer. She's out the door before Lorelai can even say goodbye.

Within those five seconds, Lorelai has pictured twenty different ways to kill Jess Mariano using only dental floss and one of her boots.

"So he's back, huh?" Lane says as soon as the door is opened and Rory is invited in.

"Oh, _God_," Rory moans as she turns on her heels and walks away from the house.

"Wait! Rory, wait!" Lane calls, following her. "What's wrong? I figured you'd want to…"

"To _what_ – talk about it? I'm over it, Lane! I don't know why everyone thinks I still harbor some sort of unrequited love for him. And actually, I find it kind of insulting that everyone just… just assumes that I'm some fragile little being that can't handle seeing her ex-boyfriend again. I've had ex-boyfriends before! Well, one. But Dean, Dean was a big ex-boyfriend; our relationship lasted longer than my relationship with Jess." She's rambling, she knows it, and she tells herself to shut the hell up because she's acting like a crazy person.

Lane looks concerned, and smiles sadly. "Do you want to come in?"

"God, I can't believe how weak I am, why does it hurt so bad to see him? I haven't even talked to him, or really looked at him for too long, though looking at him at all is too long and… pass the jelly bellies, I'm begging you."

Lane nods and hands over the bowl filled with red jelly bellies – the ultimate comfort food, Lane says solemnly, even though Rory knows the only reason Lane gives her this candy is because it's the only candy her bandmates haven't eaten and/or slobbered all over.

"I just… I wish he'd leave. And he'd stay. But far away from me. Does that make sense?"

"Um, well," Lane says slowly. "Not really."

"I didn't expect it to." She's quiet, and after a minute, she chooses her words carefully. "I wish he'd stay when I want him and leave when I'm done with him, instead of the other way around." Another pause. "I wish I could figure out why I wasn't good enough for him."

"Oh, Rory, no," Lane replies as she puts her arm around her friend. "If anything, he thought _he_ wasn't good enough for _you_."

"How do you know?"

Lane smiles. "Because I'm your best friend, and best friends know these things. And as your best friend, I also know you really, really need some alcohol. Am I right?"

Rory considers this for a moment. She's not a big fan of alcohol, but the times she _has_ been under the influence, she couldn't think of anything – anything at all. She was in a daze, and though the side-affects of this slight coma-like state ranged from her spilling her life story to random passers-by to nausea, she really, really wants to think of nothing. She wants to _feel_ nothing.

She nods. "Yeah, alcohol is good."

Later, she calls Lorelai and tells her she's staying over Lane's. Her mother knows she's walking on eggshells, so she quickly agrees to appease her. Zach and Brian complain about having their place taken over by Rory, Lane, and the copious amounts of alcohol in their systems, but Lane threatens them with death and daggers and jelly bellies and they decide to stay at Brian's house.

Late into the night, they drink and laugh and giggle and lay in Lane's bed, semi-conscious as their drinking catches up with them.

"I wish I didn't love him so much, Lane. I wish I could have thicker skin."

"What does skin have to do with this?"

"What was I saying again?"

"Hess."

Rory falters. "The gasoline?"

"What?" Lane asks, confused.

"You said 'Hess.'"

Lane laughs.

"What?"

"I… don't know."

A few seconds pass and suddenly Rory is up, stumbling through Lane's room, pulling on one of Lane's skirts over the pair of pajamas she's borrowed.

"What are you doing?"

Rory giggles and reaches out for a pair of shoes and ends up face-planting on Lane's floor in the process.

"Rory?"

"God, where are all your shoes, I can't… Ooh, I like these boots. And these sneakers. I can't decide which I like more."

Lane falls out of bed to observe Rory. "What are you doing exactly?"

"I'm going to get dressed, and then I am going to figure out where the door is, and then I'm going to tell Jess _exactly _what I think of him."

"…Which is?"

"Which is what?"

"What?"

"I don't know." She slips a sneaker on one foot and a boot on the other, then stands up. "Okay, and the door is … that-a way. And I'm on my way!"

Lane thinks this is a bad idea. Lane thinks she should get up and tell Rory exactly how bad this idea of hers is. Lane thinks she is _so_ comfortable right now, and in five minutes, _then_ she'll get up.

Rory trips through Star's Hollow in search of Jess. It's midnight; there aren't many places he could be. The bookstore is closed. She goes by his car and finds it's empty. Briefly she wonders whether Luke would let Jess stay in his apartment, after all the shit he pulled. But maybe it's worth a shot.

She walks to the diner and finds the lights are on. Upon closer inspection, she sees Jess at one of the tables, feet up on the tabletop, a book in his hands. She laughs bitterly; Jess' one constant, the one thing she always knew she could rely on, was that whenever she found him, _where_ver she found him, he'd have a book in his hand. How nice of him not to ruin routine.

Before she can tell herself what she's doing is stupid, she knocks on the door. He looks up, startled, and takes his time getting up to unlock it. She can tell he's wondering if she's really here on his doorstep; he can tell there's something wrong. Something is wrong other than the fact that he's here and he shouldn't be and the fact that she's pissed about it.

He opens the door silently. She stands there, aloof, trying to figure out what to say. She had so many great ideas and now she just wants to run again.

"You didn't get any taller," she says randomly. She wasn't planning on mentioning his height, but she says it matter-of-factly and pretends it's what she wanted to say all along.

"You did," he replies simply.

She crosses her arms. "You didn't get any verboser than before, either."

"More verbose, you mean," he says, correcting her.

"Right, and what'd I say?"

He raises an eyebrow, starting to tell that there's something going on with her. "Verboser."

"Oh. Right, I knew that. I'm Rory Gilmore, I use proper grammar," she says with a pathetic, obscure little laugh.

"I figured Yale would teach you better than that," he replies dryly.

"Oh, yes, a Yale girl, that's me."

"So."

"So."

He clears his throat. "Your shoes don't match."

"I _know_. It's all the style in Paris and London and… other fashion-like places and… I like following trends." She says, suddenly wishing she had some more alcohol. Her head is pounding and she knows the only way to battle such an ache would be to down another glass – or bottle.

"I noticed." He watches as she sways slightly, eyes fluttering and limbs loose and flying all over. She's going to fall, and he steps forward in preparation. He lightly puts out his hands, silently asking her to hold on to them, to him, but she scoffs at the offer with a cold "don't touch me!"

Seconds later she's in his arms anyway, unconscious.

_Oh, hell, Mariano, you've really outdone yourself this time,_ he thinks, because really, if Star's Hollow hated him before they'll surely hate him now. He falters for a moment, reveling in the feeling of Rory in his arms again, but realizes he doesn't get quite as much enjoyment from the experience under these circumstances. He wonders what he should do – carry her back home? But why would she be home with her mother, drinking? (Because that _has_ to be why she's passed out – he's been in situations like hers before, and the only thing that could make Rory use a word like 'verboser' would have to be alcohol.)

Maybe he could drag her to Lane's? But she still lived at home, didn't she? And Mama Kim would probably have a heart attack and disown Lane for having alcoholic friends.

Maybe he could bring her upstairs and put her in his old bed. And maybe he could tap dance and skip afterwards.

God, she'll probably wake up and think he drugged and raped her or something. That's _exactly_ what he needs. He wonders if maybe he could just leave her in the middle of the street and let people assume what they may. Take himself out of the picture, become an innocent bystander.

But one look down at that beautiful, flawless, innocent face of hers and he's carrying her up to Luke's apartment and taking off her mismatched shoes and putting her under the covers. He steps back and looks at his handiwork – she looks angelic underneath his black sheets, her short, choppy brown hair clinging to her face and her right arm curved upwards on his pillow. She looks like she belongs there, in his bed, under his sheets. He wishes he could wake up to this sight every morning.

He wishes he could get into bed with her and convince her, when she wakes up, that the past year or so was all a dream. He never left to go to California and be with his dead-beat father, and he never lied to her, and everything was perfect. It was all a dream. He wishes she'd believe him and settle back into bed with him.

He lays himself down on the ottoman and wishes he could believe it himself.

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the comments on last chapter. I hope to get some more with this one. I hope you guys liked the Rory/Jess interaction, no matter how small it was. I assume you realize there will be some more awkwardness next chapter!


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